Love Remains the Same
by yintotheyang
Summary: Five-year anniversary one shot, set to the song Love Remains the Same by Gavin Rossdale.


A/N – Happy JoLuversary everyone! I don't know if you'll believe me when I say this, but I've had this one shot in mind for over a year. I almost did it for the four year anniversary, but I ran short on time and I didn't want it to be something I rushed. But, this year, I think I got it right. If you don't know the song, Love Remains the Same by Gavin Rossdale, A) I'm sorry for you and 2) you need to listen to it. This is a song fic and I wrote it while listening to that song on repeat.

This falls within the current measures of the show and is, what I perceive to be, a very real scenario of something that could happen with our favorite characters if they were given the chance to celebrate this day. It's been a short five years and I'm so thankful for each day of JoLu we've had. Maybe the story isn't exactly what we would write ourselves, but the original story was amazing and is why I write today. Happy anniversary!

**Love Remains the Same**

**A thousand times I've seen you standing**

**Gravity like a lunar landing**

**Make me want to run 'til I find you**

Although the doctors had told him to take it easy, Johnny needed to get out of his apartment. He had never been good at resting and letting himself heal and this latest gunshot wound was no different. At first he wasn't sure where to go, but once he was in his car, he found himself driving to the Star.

When he walked in, he found Lulu. Her back was turned and she was leaning over the bar, peering at the books. He realized she hadn't heard him, so he took a minute to watch her. It was night, but she still had the lights turned low and was working mainly by moonlight.

"_Where are you going?" Lulu asked in confusion as he turned from the piano and walked across the room._

"_I remember last time we were here and you left me. I noticed the skylight and the way the moon was coming through," Johnny replied._

_Johnny reached for the light switch and flipped it, leaving the room in darkness aside from the moonlight and the faint glimmer of the candles he had lit. He turned back to her and couldn't help but smile._

"_And that is exactly how I imagined you," he whispered._

"_Okay, I feel… On the spot," Lulu said, blushing. "Like I need to do something."_

"_You don't need to do anything," Johnny replied with a grin. "You're like this little muse made of moonlight sent to inspire me."_

"_To light candles?" Lulu teased, making him laugh._

"_Maybe. But all I want to do is this," Johnny said, pulling her in for a kiss._

Johnny shook away the memory with a smile and decided to let her know he was there.

"Burning the midnight oil?" he asked, making her jump.

"Oh my gosh, I didn't even hear you come in," Lulu sighed.

"I'm sneaky," Johnny shrugged.

"No kidding," Lulu laughed. "But to answer your original question, yeah. Now that the entire town isn't going to die, I think we have a good opportunity to make some money."

"That's a good point," Johnny agreed. "We should plan a big night. A sort of, 'we survived Jerry Jacks 2012' thing."

Lulu laughed and shook her head at the concept. They could have attended a few parties celebrating their survival of his craziness.

"Well, you almost didn't," Lulu said softly. "Speaking of which, shouldn't you still be in the hospital?"

"Come on, Lulu, I've been shot several times," Johnny reminded her. "It's an easy heal for me at this point. Actually, I think if I went too long without getting shot, my body would react badly."

"You're on some kind of lead diet?" Lulu asked, mocking him.

"Exactly," Johnny smirked.

She shook her head again and went back to work, letting silence fall over them. There had been a time after their breakup when silence between them was awkward, but he was glad that was over. He had hated that time.

A part of him didn't understand why he hated it so much at the time, but he realized now it was because he needed her to be there. He needed her strength and support when things got tough. He would run a thousand miles for a sympathetic smile and a comforting hug from Lulu.

**I shut the world away from here**

**Drift to you, you're all I hear**

**Everything we know fades to black**

Johnny watched as Lulu glided behind the bar. She produced two glasses and smirked at him. He nodded and she quickly filled them with their best rum.

"Maybe everyone's not here," Lulu started. "But we are and I think we should celebrate."

"Two minutes ago you were lecturing me on leaving the hospital too soon," Johnny noted. "Now you're giving me alcohol?"

"It's the Spencer way," Lulu shrugged.

Johnny smiled, peering into his glass and letting himself forget everything outside of the two of them drinking rum together.

"_So where are Logan and Spinelli now?" Lulu wondered._

"_Logan's keeping watch in the front, I scoped an entrance out back and Spinelli went in to find you in disguise," Johnny explained._

"_As a monk?" Lulu wondered, laughing at the thought._

"_I'd be hard pressed to find another girl who could laugh in a situation like this," Johnny muttered, passing the rum over to her._

"_Well, what am I supposed to do? Sit in the corner and cry?" Lulu asked._

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Lulu called, snapping him out of his memory. "I just made a very moving toast regarding mortality and the meaning of life and you were spaced out through the whole thing."

"Sorry," Johnny mumbled. "Do it again. You have my undivided attention."

"It won't be as eloquent," Lulu warned, making Johnny laugh.

"If you were eloquent the first time, I'm really sorry I missed that. It would have been a first," Johnny joked.

"I'm ignoring you," Lulu said, rolling her eyes. "I was just saying that it doesn't matter how often it happens, facing death really puts things in perspective. You remember what's important and what isn't."

"I know," Johnny agreed.

"Like us," Lulu said softly. "We're important to each other, but we never say it. Because we're not supposed to."

"It's like admitting we care about each other means we care about… other people less," Johnny added.

"Even if it's not true," Lulu nodded.

"You know what would be nice?" Johnny proposed. "Tonight, let's forget about everyone else. I mean, here we are. We've survived again and we both ended up here at the Star. Let's take the opportunity to just celebrate life and the fact that we do still care about each other after everything we went through."

"How can we do that?" Lulu wondered.

"We just shut it out," Johnny suggested. "Like if we had a map of the town and took a black sharpie to everything but this boat."

"But we don't live in a vacuum," Lulu pointed out. "That's what makes life so complicated."

"I'm not saying let's do something that will hurt someone else when the night is over," Johnny replied. "I'm just saying, tonight we can care about each other and not feel bad about it."

"Okay," Lulu agreed. "Let's do it."

"Alright," Johnny smiled.

**Half the time the world is ending**

**Truth is I am done pretending**

"This is going to be great," Lulu smiled.

"Freedom always is," Johnny joked.

"Seriously, with all the town genocide going on after the pathogen and everything else that's wrong with this world we live in, it's great to have a break," Lulu sighed. "The bad stuff is always going to be there. Tonight we forget about it and think only about the good stuff."

"Yes," Johnny nodded. "And we stop acting like we care about crap we don't care about."

"Like the balance in my checking account," Lulu giggled.

"Right," Johnny laughed. "No faking. Let's just be real."

"One hundred percent real," Lulu said, picking up her glass.

**I never thought that I had anymore to give**

**Pushing me so far**

**Here I am without you**

Johnny grabbed his glass as well, so relieved that they were doing this. He wondered if she even realized it, but it was their anniversary. Five years ago, he had met this amazing woman. She had completely changed his life, giving him emotions he didn't think he had the capacity for.

Before Lulu, he thought the only thing he had to offer the world was pain and violence. She showed him he could love. She took him to a different level. There was a time when he thought they'd be together forever. But five years later, they weren't. Except for this one night.

**Drink to all that we have lost**

**Mistakes we have made**

**Everything will change**

**But love remains the same**

They clinked their glasses together and took a sip, toasting to each other. Johnny was toasting to the past more than anything. He knew he would be a different man without Lulu. And even though it didn't last, she was vitally important to him.

When he looked back at his life, he knew where he had messed up. Every misstep was illuminated in his mind, the most glaring being the way he destroyed his relationship with Lulu. Even if they weren't going to make it, there were other ways it could have happened. But at the time he hadn't thought that far ahead.

He looked at Lulu as he finished off his glass and saw her ring. It always caught him off guard how much her being married seemed wrong to him. So many things about their lives were different than they were the day they celebrated their one-year anniversary. She was probably happier and better off, which made him happy. Because even though so much time had passed, he still loved her. Just as he had instantly the day they met five years ago.

**Find the place where we escape**

**Take you with me for a space**

**The city buzz, it sounds just like a fridge**

"You know what would be fun?" Lulu asked suddenly.

"What?" Johnny wondered.

"If we went for a drive," Lulu replied.

"Oh, you think you can still handle my driving?" Johnny challenged.

"Have you gotten crazier?" Lulu questioned.

"Yes," Johnny admitted.

"Good," Lulu giggled. "I could use a rush."

Johnny smiled and Lulu grabbed the bottle as they took off for his car. Being with Johnny in any capacity was always a rush, whether they were going for a thrilling drive or just talking in a garden shed.

"_That is why I do the push-pull thing," Lulu explained. "I never get too close. I protect my heart at all times, I have to."_

"_I understand. More than you'd know," Johnny replied._

"_I never felt this way about Dillon or Logan. But with you it's like…" Lulu sighed. "I'm afraid if I let myself love you then I will disappear. I will get lost and not find my way back."_

"_I feel the same way," Johnny admitted, taking a seat on the chaise lounge. "It's like we're teetering on the edge of this cliff. One step in the wrong direction… Pshewww."_

"_Yeah," Lulu nodded, walking closer to him. "Exactly."_

"_It's not good," Johnny noted._

"_No," Lulu said, a laugh escaping her. "No, it's not good at all."_

"_One of us should take a step back," Johnny suggested, pulling her closer in contrast with his words._

"_Yeah, we could try," Lulu said, inching forward still. "But, I like the edge. It makes everything very clear and simple."_

"_Just before you fall," Johnny whispered, meeting her lips for a kiss._

Lulu had her hand out the window as they sped along the back roads. She had her eyes closed, but just from the smells, she could tell he was headed up toward the Overlook. It was amazing how easy it was to drift back. The memories were still fresh when she let them be. She opened her eyes and looked at the man in the driver's seat.

"Do you have any idea how fast we're going?" Johnny asked, shooting a glance at her.

"I know it's fast enough that I don't want you looking at me while you're driving," Lulu laughed.

"I haven't done this in forever, this is amazing," Johnny shouted.

"It's exhilarating," Lulu agreed. "There's nothing like an open road and no rules."

"How many drives do you think we've taken together?" Johnny wondered.

"At least a hundred," Lulu answered. "But drives like this, where you were speeding like a crazy person? Maybe three or four."

"That's an insult," Johnny replied. "I always speed like a crazy person."

"You like to think so, but you don't," Lulu argued. "Sure, you drive faster than the average person, but you're actually pretty careful when I'm in the car."

"I don't like how well you know me sometimes," Johnny sighed.

"Of course you do," Lulu countered. "It's nice to be with someone who knows you."

"Yeah, I guess it is," Johnny admitted.

He smoothly pulled into the small parking lot by the Overlook and cut off the engine. Lulu watched him for a minute before jumping out and racing over to the edge. From there, she could hear Port Charles. It sounded like a busy city, full of people who had no clue that two ex-lovers were watching over it together at that very moment.

"It's always so beautiful up here," Lulu sighed. "I haven't been in ages."

"Me either," Johnny realized. "I feel stupid for neglecting it. I forgot how easy it is to think clearly up here."

"Yeah," Lulu agreed.

**I walk the streets through seven bars**

**I had to find just where you are**

**The faces seem to blur, they're all the same**

"Turn the radio on in your car," Lulu suggested.

"Why?" Johnny asked.

"I feel like dancing," Lulu shrugged.

"What makes you think I feel like watching you dance?" Johnny questioned.

"Shut it and do what I said," Lulu scowled, making Johnny laugh.

"Fine," Johnny agreed.

Lulu smiled as he walked over and turned on his radio. A slow, haunting piano melody began to ring out and she watched as he looked at her sheepishly.

"The radio is actually busted," Johnny admitted. "I just have my classical CD with me."

"Clair de Lune is fine," Lulu replied. "Actually, it's perfect."

"Yeah," Johnny nodded.

He joined her once again by the railing and they melted together to dance to their song, like it was second nature. It was almost as if that place was a time machine because Lulu suddenly found herself back in time on a day when she and Johnny were still pretending to be just friends.

"_The rest of my life is garbage, but when you're around…" Johnny tried. "This is selfish. All I do is bring you trouble."_

"_You are a much better person than you think you are," Lulu said softly._

"_I got a mob war on my hands with Sonny Corinthos," Johnny replied._

"_Sonny would never hurt me," Lulu said firmly._

"_You don't know that. Anything could happen. Being around me is too dangerous," Johnny muttered._

"_You keep blaming yourself, but this is as much my fault as it is yours," Lulu reminded him. "I could have stayed away from you, but I didn't."_

"_You've always said that you've rebelled against people's expectations of you, maybe this is no different," Johnny noted._

"_It might have started that way, but we're friends now and I wanna help," Lulu said desperately._

"_You can't," Johnny said sadly. "It's too late."_

"_Sonny's gonna listen to Carly," Lulu argued._

"_Maybe in your dream world," Johnny whispered. "Okay, but this is reality. Look, I meant what I said when I kissed you. I don't want to lose you. But, I've made my choice, and I'm not gonna let them touch you, but… We can't do this anymore."_

As they danced, Lulu couldn't help but think of that night. He had kissed her and told her how much she meant to him and then tried to push her away. He spent most of their relationship pushing her away; always so sure he didn't deserve her. For a while, she thought maybe he was right. He had broken her heart so much, that she had forgotten the truth she realized that night so long ago. Johnny was the most selfless person on the planet when it came to the people he cared about. He would put their happiness ahead of his ten out of ten times, even if he felt that making them happy meant leaving them alone.

The truth was, she knew the night they broke up for good that there had been more going on than he had admitted to. There was something else, something that was worse than him cheating with Maxie. But at the time, it didn't matter to her. Just as he had spent most of their relationship pushing her away, she had spent most of it chasing him and fighting for them. She had started to lose sight of everything else in her quest to keep them together. And every second was worth it, but it was tiring.

"What are you thinking about?" Johnny wondered, looking into her eyes as they continued to sway gently to the music.

"We're horrible dancers," Lulu muttered.

"Liar," Johnny accused.

"We really are," Lulu maintained.

"Okay," Johnny acquiesced. "But that's not what you were thinking about."

"I was just thinking about how tired I got of chasing you," Lulu admitted. "And yet how I would do it all again. If I could go back, you know?"

"I was so mixed up back then," Johnny sighed. "I think I always had one hand pushing you away and the other holding you close."

"But not too close," Lulu laughed.

"I was an idiot," Johnny said softly.

"I was, too," Lulu smirked. "I mean, I had to be with you. I didn't care about anything other than that and it had to have been tough for you. You were always trying to keep me safe and I was always ignoring you."

"It was only tough because I wanted it to work so much," Johnny explained. "I just didn't know how to make it happen."

**Half the time the world is ending**

**Truth is I am done pretending**

They continued to sway softly, neither realizing Clair de Lune had ended and another song hadn't begun.

"I'm glad we made it happen for as long as we did," Lulu whispered.

"Me, too," Johnny smiled.

Lulu leaned her head on his shoulder and let him continue to lead them in their dance. So much was always going wrong in the lives of the people in the town below them, but this moment was perfect for she and Johnny and she couldn't have been happier. They had been through hell and back since they had known each other, but dancing together under the stars made it all worth it.

"I'm glad we're doing this," Lulu breathed, so soft she thought he couldn't hear her.

"So am I," he replied, making her smile.

Even if they weren't speaking aloud, they could hear each other. It was part of their bond. She was so happy to be away from everything where they didn't have to pretend that bond didn't exist.

**I never thought that I had anymore to give**

**Pushing me so far**

**Here I am without you**

Lulu didn't know if he recognized it, but five years ago they had met for the first time. He had changed her in a way she didn't expect. He taught her that love could be reciprocated. He showed her unselfish love for the first time and being loved by him in that way was still a feeling unmatched by anything she had ever known.

There was something so amazing about being loved by Johnny that made her want to love the way that he did. And she learned how to while being with him. His love made her into a person she had always wanted to be, but didn't know how to be because of her past experiences. Yet, with all the deep, true love that was between them, they stood there dancing not as a couple, but as exes.

**Drink to all that we have lost**

**Mistakes we have made**

**Everything will change**

**Love remains the same**

Lulu pulled away and stared at him silently, letting him know what she was thinking without having to say a word. Their eyes stayed locked as their feet finally settled and he seemed to silently understand everything going on in her head. He always could.

She knew every place they had both gone wrong with each other over the years. Yet she couldn't say why it had ended up the way it had. For a long time, she thought that no matter what, they would end up together in the end. But they weren't. They were both with other people. And everything was completely different than she had expected it to be when they celebrated their one-year anniversary four years ago.

Yet, she realized one thing hadn't changed in the least. She was looking in his eyes and she could feel in her heart that she had been conservative with her words earlier. She didn't just care about him. She loved Johnny. Just like she always had.

**So much more to say**

**So much to be done**

**Don't you trick me out**

**We shall overcome**

**It's all left still to play**

"Maybe we should go," Lulu breathed.

"No," Johnny argued.

"We should," Lulu maintained.

"Why?" Johnny asked.

"Because," Lulu said, grasping for a reason.

"There are more words to speak to each other, Lulu," Johnny said softly. "You know there are."

"Yeah, which is probably why we should go," Lulu whispered.

"That doesn't make sense," Johnny replied.

"Yes, it does," Lulu sighed. "Because we're not talkers. We never know how to say things, we just do things. We let our actions speak and I don't think that's exactly a good idea right now. We're not in a vacuum."

"What if we were?" Johnny challenged.

"We're not," Lulu muttered.

"Yeah, but if we were, I would have kissed you already," Johnny admitted. "And you would have kissed me back."

"No," Lulu claimed.

"Don't lie," Johnny begged. "Not now. Not after this night. We've been more honest with ourselves and each other tonight than maybe ever before. Don't take it away by trying to pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about."

"Okay," Lulu said, tears pricking her eyes. "But you haven't kissed me and you can't kiss me. So we should go."

"We don't have to," Johnny said again. "We can take a step back. Go back to how it was before we danced. Then everything will be just like we intended it to be when we came here."

"Yeah, maybe," Lulu murmured.

**We should have had the sun**

**Could have been inside**

**Instead we're over here**

"I think we should go," Lulu said, after a few minutes of silence.

"Is that all you can say?" Johnny asked.

"Yes!" Lulu yelled. "Yes, because I can't be here with you without thinking about how maybe I should always be with you. I mean…"

"We could have made it work," Johnny finished.

"You gave up," Lulu noted. "And I know why and I've made my peace with it, but being here tonight just makes me wonder what if. And that's no way to live."

"Because we can't change it," Johnny realized.

"Right," Lulu nodded. "We are where we are and this is reality. The idea of tonight was a good one, but that doesn't work. Even if it does for a little while, the truth of the situation is always going to find its way to the surface."

**Half the time the world is ending**

**Truth is I am done pretending**

**Too much time, too long defending**

**You and I are done pretending**

"I just wish that with everything the way it was there for a minute when we had all been exposed, something had happened," Johnny started. "Everyone was dying, you know? I wish it would have somehow changed things. I wish it would have made it easier for us."

"But it didn't," Lulu noted. "We're exactly who we were before Jerry ever came to town."

"Just not the kids who fell in love five years ago," Johnny muttered.

"Not completely," Lulu sighed. "Part of those kids live in us, which is why tonight was… the way it was. But we can't be them anymore. We've made choices that make it wrong for us to try to be them."

"Even for one night," Johnny said, shaking his head. "We can't even play pretend."

"No," Lulu said, smiling sadly. "We can't."

**I never thought that I had anymore to give**

**Pushing me so far**

**Here I am without you**

"You changed me for the better," Johnny said, shrugging. "I want you to know that."

"You did the same for me," Lulu whispered. "I wouldn't be who I am now if you had never picked me up on the side of the road. And I wouldn't trade a second of our time together."

"Even though it led to us not being together now?" Johnny wondered.

"There's nothing to be said for what might have been, Johnny," Lulu replied. "We make a million choices in a lifetime and one choice doesn't define us. It's the sum of the parts."

They smiled at each other and Johnny shook his head, laughing to himself.

"I guess maybe you can be eloquent," Johnny teased.

**Drink to all that we have lost**

**Mistakes we have made**

**Everything will change**

**Everything will change**

"I'm getting the rum," Lulu said decisively.

"Okay," Johnny laughed.

"We're both going to take a swig," Lulu explained. "Because even though we got off track, we had a good idea tonight. We should celebrate us on our anniversary."

"So, make the toast," Johnny suggested as she returned with the bottle of rum.

"To everything we didn't have," Lulu said, taking a drink and then handing him the bottle.

"To everything that changed and everything that didn't," Johnny added, taking a drink.

**I, oh, I**

**I wish this could last forever**

**I, oh, I**

**As if we could last forever**

"Tonight was a good night," Lulu muttered, taking one last look at the city below them.

"I wish it wasn't over," Johnny admitted. "I wish would we could stay in this moment for a long time."

"We'll always have the memories," Lulu smiled.

"_Where you headed?" he asked, pulling alongside the blonde beauty hitchhiking on the side of the road._

"_Where are you going?" she asked, warily._

"_Anywhere you want. Get in," he offered._

"_Thanks," she replied, climbing in, unsure of where this ride might take her._

"_Not a problem," he said, offering her his hand. "I'm Johnny."_

"_Lulu," she said, shaking his hand._

"_Nice to meet you, Lulu."_

"Yeah," Johnny agreed. "And who knows what the future holds?"

**Love remains the same**

**Love remains the same**


End file.
